So, what poppin’ blog. I sitting writing this for the second time (in a different way) still drinking tea and now I am listening to music. So, this week has been terrible in ways which I find to be a coincidence. I lost- I think- two friends which I have been friends with for 2 years, pulled a muscle in my arm (it has gotten worst), and managed to get sick and I still have a stuffy nose. I am very agitated and I also want to cry because of this week.

I lost my connection with friends because of the fact that I confronted them of their wrongs and now they want to accuse me of being wrong, which I find absolutely OUTRAGEOUS! This all started with the fact that I started off the week telling them my arm hurts, like when I flex it there’s a pain, THEN FRIEND wait #1 says, “well maybe you should just stop flexing it” when I tell you I almost smacked the poor life out of that girl when she said that. I literally almost did. I also got pushed very violently by friend #2 on the same day of telling them. I have many problems with them and the way they like to talk about me or steal things from me, it very much gets on my nerves but I try not to say it because you know I am like that girl in an abusive relationship with some dude but, then says “Oh he loves me and he’ll change” but they don’t.

But back to me, there was also a situation over summer 2018. It was fathers day, and I texted in our group chat that I’m sad because it hit me that my dad is not here no more so I don’t have a father to acknowledge on fathers day. My dad died March 2018, and I still remember the day my mom told me. Friend #1 says, well my father isn’t here either but I don’t have that problem. There is a complete difference between your father disappearing out of your life compared to my father being literal ashes and dust. I continuously forgive them but I don’t seem to let them go. I really need to learn to let go of the toxicness and try to find the bit of positivity there in the world because having friends like them is not going to take me anywhere in life. PERIODT POOH